WHAT LOVE IS AND ISN'T
GOD IS LOVE
So what does it mean when someone says that God is love? Love is a funny word. It’s a word that takes on different meanings depending on the person and the context of what’s being discussed. You can love Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and Chipotle. I heartily agree with those kind of people. You can love your pet. For some people that means you enjoy them as an animal companion and for others that means treating them like fuzzy human companions. You can also love other human beings. Sometimes that word is used to describe the emotional feelings of attraction and affection towards someone or it can mean the deep commitment to someone regardless of emotion.
If we can barely pin love down in terms of food and human relationships, how are we to make sense of applying that word to God? That problem becomes more obvious when it seems like two different people can say that God is love, and disagree on what that means and what it looks like.
One person may say that because God is love, that means that He is totally accepting and forgiving and would never punish someone for sin. Another person may say that God is totally righteous and holy and can’t stand idly by as evil runs rampant.
And when you take this Either/Or approach to the the way that God shows love, you end up with dangerously wrong and destructive definitions of love.
You either end up with a permissive, enabling, anything goes kind of love, where nobody is held accountable, and everyone gets into heaven regardless of how they’ve lived or whether they love Jesus.
Or you have a legalistic, condemning, arrogant kind of religion, where only me and my buddies get into heaven because we’re so much better than you, and a mentality that acts like Jesus is lucky to have us or thinks Jesus could never really want us.
But neither of these are TRUE LOVE! If we want to know what God’s love looks like, we need to look at Jesus. How did Jesus love people? The best description I have found is in John 1:14. It says this "And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we have seen his glory, glory as of the only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth.” We’re told that God took on flesh and lived among us. The two words it used to describe the way he lived was Grace & Truth.
GRACE AND TRUTH
If God is Love, and Jesus is God, then his love will be a perfect balance of both grace and truth. Here’s a chart that shows that if love were a coin, then grace would be one side and truth would be the other.
Grace and Truth go together and the moment you separate them, you don’t have the Love of God.
Maybe this will help show how we tend to see one side or the other, but need both.
GRACE (WHOLLY LOVING)
AND
TRUTH (LOVING HOLINESS)
Original Glory: made in His image
AND
Original Sin: need to be re:made in the image of Jesus
Invitation: come to me ALL who are weary
AND
Challenge: the truth will set you free
Acceptance: You love me as You find me
AND
Repentance: Your love's too good to leave me here
All sin can be forgiven: neither do I condemn you
AND
All sin is destructive: go and sin no more
Forgiveness: we all fall short
AND
Holiness: live worthy of the calling you have been given
Heals the hurting
AND
Hurts to bring healing
Kind
AND
Right
Salt: contact with the world
AND
Light: contrast from the world
Compassion: loving those who have made sinful choices (looked at him and loved him)
AND
Respect: giving someone the dignity of making their own sinful choices (let him walk away)
Let's take two stories in the life of Jesus and see what this looks like.
THE WOMAN CAUGHT IN ADULTERY
For example, the story of the woman caught in adultery told in John 8.
Religious leaders had dragged a woman out in front of Jesus that they had caught in the act of sleeping with someone who was not her husband. She is most likely naked, she is ashamed, publicly humiliated, and she is afraid. She knows she has no hope. She knows that what she has been doing is against what God wants for her. This woman is sleeping with someone who is not her husband. It's God's desire that sex only happen within the boundaries of marriage. I find it strange that only the woman was brought forward and not the man who was equally guilty.
A religion that is mostly truth based with no grace has a tendency to elevate one persons sin over the other. It acts like your sin is worse than my sin.
Jesus says, let the one without sin cast the first stone. In other words, if you’re living perfectly then go ahead and put to death sinners. But if sinners deserve to die, which one of you do we stone first? Then Jesus begins to doodle in the dust. We’re not told what Jesus actually wrote, but whatever it was, it sent the crowd running. So we have Jesus standing with this woman all alone.
And He asks her “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” 11 She said, “No one, Lord. And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you;”
I love this so much! Jesus looks at this woman who has no hope, who knows she doesn’t deserve to be forgiven, and Jesus says, “You’re forgiven. I’m not going to punish you or humiliate you." I can’t help but think that Jesus probably found something to drape over her to cover her shame. Maybe even walked her back to her house. That is radical grace. It is a love that says you are valuable, I don’t want you destroyed. You are loved, regardless of the choices you’ve made. I forgive the sins that others say are unforgivable.
When John first described Jesus as being full of grace and truth, he says it again in verse 16, and grace always comes first! Let me say that again… GRACE ALWAYS COMES FIRST! In my experience, Christians and the Church almost always start with Truth. The problem is that if people do not see grace from us, then we will never have the opportunity to speak truth.
GRACE OPENS THE DOOR FOR TRUTH TO BE WELCOMED INTO A PERSONS LIFE!
Now the opposite can be true as well. Some people want to see Jesus as the one who simply pats us on the head and says, “I love you! I’m sorry those bad people hurt you. They were mean and arrogant. Just ignore them. Why don’t you go back and finish up what you were doing. Do whatever makes you happy.”
That’s all grace and no truth. The final thing Jesus says to this woman is…
"go, and from now on sin no more.” Jesus loved this woman, so He had to speak truth into her life as well. You are too valuable to give yourself away to someone you’re not married to. You’re not going to experience the happiness you’re looking for in the places you’ve been looking. You are slowly destroying yourself. Our Heavenly Father does not bless the kind of life you’ve been living. Sin no more was not a suggestion, it was a command.
THE RICH YOUNG RULER
Here’s one last picture of how Jesus showed both grace and truth. Here’s how he showed love to a young man we typically call the Rich Young Ruler.
In Mark 10 a young man who by every human standard was living the good life. He was moral and did all the right things. Financially, he was thriving and his professional life seemed to be progressing well. When he comes to Jesus and asks him what are the last things he needs to do to make sure that he gets the reward of life after death.
It says that "Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him. The reason that people are so drawn to Jesus is because when he looks at them, they can tell he deeply loves them. Unfortunately, instead of looking at people and loving them first, I'm often trying to fix them. They realize I see them as a project and not a person and are not interested in my help. However, if they looked at me and saw a deep love for them, they'd probably be more receptive to what God wants to say to them through me. Jesus starts with grace. But...
Jesus then speaks the truth that the man doesn't want to hear but needs.
He says you need to let go of your possessions, your position, your pride, so that your hands are able to receive. Your money is your god. You have to choose between me and money. If you continue to worship money, you'll never truly live. This story is heartbreaking because the young man walks away from Jesus.
Often what is so hard about speaking the truth is because people may walk away. We're afraid of rejection. What we don't see is Jesus running after the young man and saying, "you know, maybe I came on a little strong. How about you just give up a couple things first and see how it goes? If it goes well, then maybe you'll see that I'm right and trust me more!" No, Jesus respects him enough to let him make his own decisions. He doesn't compromise on truth because this man is enslaved by greed and he wants to set him free.
We must be courageous enough to speak the truth that will set people free and give them the dignity of choosing between right and wrong. I'm sure that Jesus was sad that this man chose money over him but Jesus loved him enough to let him make his own decisions as well.
The love of God is both full of grace and full of truth. Every single one of us tends towards one or the other but rarely both. We need to become self aware so that we don't push people away by being only truthful or enable them by being only grace-filled. We need brothers and sisters in Christ to help us become aware and hold us accountable when we fail in being Christlike in our love.
Here is a visual to tie things together.
If you tend to fall towards being full of truth but low in grace then, to become like Jesus, we need to embrace a deeper sense of invitation, compassion, kindness, forgiving, posture towards people.
If we tend to fall towards being full of grace but low in truth then, to become more like Jesus, we need to embrace a deeper sense of challenge, calling people to repentance and holiness.
So where do you fall on the chart?